Bygones

Jacob’s courage and wisdom as he prepares to meet his estranged brother are impressive.

After dividing his group into two camps so that if one was attacked, the other could escape and praying that powerful prayer we looked at last time, he prepares an extravagant gift to send ahead to his brother, Esau.

Upon encountering Esau, each servant was to inform him that the flocks were a gift from Jacob - AND that Jacob was coming behind them.

So as Jacob’s gifts preceded him, hopefully paving the way to a good reception, Jacob spent the night in the camp. And here’s when something incredibly “interesting” happens:

This is where Jacob’s name was changed to Israel:

“Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Jacob named the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared,” and he left there limping because of his injury.

As the companies of two long-estranged brothers come within sight of each other, Jacob lines up his family (female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, Rachel and Joseph at the back) and leads the way to meet Esau.

I can’t even imagine what Jacob must have been feeling as the long-anticipated moment arrives. He has paved the way with gifts - LOTS of them. But was it enough?

Jacob approaches Esau

bowing down to the ground - SEVEN TIMES!

What a greeting!

All of that preoccupation on Jacob’s part - the preparation, the planning, the panic upon learning of Esaus approach with 400 men in tow -

but this isn’t a hostile reception at all!

What happened to all of that fury that had caused Jacob to flee some 20 years ago?

Who knows? We change for all kinds of reasons. Maturity, life experience, and the passage of time can make us, if not always wiser, at least aware that some resentments are just not worth harboring.

The realities of aging parents, loss, and the realization that we aren’t as “immortal” as we once thought all play a part in re-shaping our perspectives about past hurts. No matter how big they may have been at the time, there comes a point when we must decide what we’re willing to give up to hang on to them. The truth is, no matter how justified it may seem, holding on to bitterness always comes at a cost.

In the case of Jacob and Esau, it was 20 years of separation.

Remember what Jacob’s mother said to him before he escaped to Uncle Laban’s? (See “Taking the High Road.”)

The saddest part of this whole story, to me at least, is that it seems she never did.

It was God’s call and not his mother’s that prompted Jacob’s return. Also, while there is later mention of the deaths of Isaac and even of Rebekkah’s nurse, there’s nothing more about Rebekkah, so I wonder if she died before the return of the son she loved so dearly.

As a parent, I can’t imagine many sadder scenarios. Not to mention all of the grandchildren she and Isaac had missed getting to enjoy.

After too many lost opportunities and precious years that can’t be reclaimed, these brothers are blessed with a chance to write a better chapter: one of grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

Uncle Esau has ELEVEN nephews to meet, and he does so now as one by one, the groups of Jacob’s children with their respective mothers present themselves, bowing before him.

Grace. Forgiveness. Reconciliation.

Esau isn’t looking for retaliation, not even for restitution. Remember that grand “peace offering” of Jacob’s? “I already have plenty,” says Esau. “Keep what you have for yourself.”

I’ve never thought of Esau as a hero, but he’s one today!

What a turn of events for these once feuding brothers!

It is said that “time heals all wounds,” but we know that isn’t always true. Sadly there are grudges that people carry for life - broken relationships that never do heal.

I’m glad this wasn’t the case with Jacob and Esau.

Haven’t we all known regret over decisions we couldn’t reverse and actions we couldn’t take back no matter how badly we wished we could?

It’s always too late to re-write history, but I appreciate Jacob and Esau for reminding us that it’s never too late for grace.

What a blessing that, though the past cannot be undone, it can be FORGIVEN.

Amid mistakes, regrets, damaged relationships, and whatever other bygones, we make adjustments. We seek reconciliation.

We find a way to make the best of what we have going forward. And that is enough.

Blessings until next time, Kim