Believing in People: ENCOURAGE
When it comes to being a Beliver in People, the first "E" stands for Encourage.
It may be through words, through a hug or even a pat on the back. Sometimes encouragement may be given just by sitting quietly with someone, offering a listening ear or a hand to hold.
There are countless ways to be an encourager!
AFFIRMATION
There's no overstating the importance of words.
The old saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," couldn't be further from the truth. While physical injuries eventually heal, emotional ones often last a lifetime. Words have the power to build lives... and also to destroy them.
I love Proverbs 18:21 which says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." How true! Kind, encouraging words help build self esteem, inspire confidence and often provide just the push people need to do great things in their lives.
Beyond words spoken TO someone can be words spoken ABOUT them to God. One of the most encouraging things I've had happen lately was receiving, "out of the blue," a text from my friend, Cody:
"How can I pray for you today?"
As it happened, I'd been having a tough time with some losses, changes, worries...but it was emotional stuff and I'd mostly kept it to myself. The truth is, though, no matter the source of our burdens, carrying them alone is hard.
I didn't need to put either of us through a detailed examination of all of my woes; it was enough to let him know I was worried, sad, and grateful to have a partner in prayer.
So he prayed...right then and there over Facebook Messenger. It was short and right to the point; my spirit was lighter and my soul felt warmed the whole rest of the day just because of someone coming alongside with WORDS that reminded me I was not alone and that God is more than able to meet every need.
So, be they spoken or written, WORDS are important. It's important to use them and important to choose them with care.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Everyone is so busy running a million different directions!
Whether we are preoccupied with the past or in such hot pursuit of the future, either way we are so focused on what is behind, within or ahead of us that it is easy to miss what is right in front of us... namely the people right in front of us.
Assuming most people are like I am when I get wrapped up in my own thoughts, we don't even SEE the people around us. And somehow this seems normal. We get used to not seeing and not being seen but deep down inside, I believe that everyone hungers for recognition.
Developing the habit of simply acknowledging others will already make one stand out as an Encourager.
A few simple ways to say, "You matter," in a world of strangers where it is so easy to feel that we don't:
Be friendly.
Make eye contact with people.
SMILE!
Speak... just a cheerful greeting or compliment (about anything...it doesn't matter what; the point is just to let people know you see them!)
Within more personal settings, such as churches, organizations, neighborhoods, work, school, friends and family groups, this may mean being aware of and looking for ways to acknowledge those "on the fringe."
Examples:
Initiate. Someone has to make the first move!
Introduce. Introduce yourself. Introduce new people to others.
Include. Make sure the "fringe folks" are invited to come along whenever everyone else is making plans.
Involve. Offer new people a way to contribute to the group.
Acknowledging really isn't anything more than treating others with respect and kindness...just the way we hope others will treat us.
ADMIRATION
Admiration is about noticing what is special in other people... about pointing out their strengths and commenting on what they do well.
Mark Twain said, "One compliment can keep me going for a whole month." I think that's true of a lot of folks!
What's more, (sincere) admiration works as the best insurance for reinforcing the qualities we like to see in those around us! I've certainly noticed with children that praise for what they do right is always more effective than criticism for what they do wrong. Everyone wants to be praised!
Jesus was very good at handing out praise, and His example provides a good model for us.
Once, a Roman officer approached Jesus wanting healing for a servant of his who was sick. "You don't even have to bother coming to the house...just say the word!"
Now Jesus could have just honored the man's request, but He made it a point to highlight something that was special in this Roman officer.
So #1 is: Look for things to compliment.
Next, He kept His praise sincere, genuine, and personal. He wasn't handing out a bunch of overdone, dramatic flattery. There are some people (not most!) who like exaggerated, loud attention, but for praising people in a way that makes a difference, a thoughtful, sincere approach is usually the way to go.
And finally, Jesus could have taken the guy aside and whispered "Good job!" in his ear, but He chose to do His praising in public.
So #3 is: Give others the spotlight.
SINCERE admiration is a gift people never get tired of receiving, and it doesn't cost a penny to give, so we can afford to be generous with our recognition, praise and compliments.
Never pass up the opportunity to say "Congratulations!"
APPRECIATION
Years ago, in one of my mom's old Redbook magazines, I came a cross a wonderful little article entitled THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN EVER GIVE, in which the authors had the following to say about appreciation:
I'm sure I have forgotten more from 6th grade English than I'd care to admit, but what I'll never forget is that Mrs. Oliver was a big fan of thank you notes. She taught us how to write them and said that if you so much as spent a night in someone's home, you should follow up with one.
My mom is also big on appreciation, so I grew up writing thank you notes...lots of thank you notes because if someone gave you a gift or did something nice for you, saying "thank you" was what you did.
Formal letter writing isn't as popular as it used to be, but what has never gone out of style is gratitude. It is still good manners to show appreciation...to say "thank you" (in whatever way) and still a serious lack of manners not to!
My sister is the most appreciative person I know. She goes the extra mile when it comes to showing gratitude.
She expresses enthusiasm over anything you give her or anything you do for her.
She says "thank you" on the spot (usually multiple times!)
She tells you how your gift or action makes a difference.
Added to all of that, she also happens to be one of those people who still follow up with written notes.
Karen is a rare breed in terms of her level of appreciation showing. By the time it's all over, she sees to it that whoever it was that gave the gift or did the favor ends up the most blessed of all.
She has more friends than anyone I know and always has volunteers lining up to help her in the various projects she's always organizing.
THANK YOU...
Two little words that make a Big difference!
AFFECTION
Everyone knows about the health benefits of hugging and how important nurturing touch is to healthy development.
Touch makes us feel real, warm and connected. Needless to say, Jesus is again the perfect example of providing the touch that heals.
We all love the story of Jesus taking the children into His arms. Children are easy to touch because they are so cute and innocent and naturally affectionate themselves.
Not always so easy to touch are sick people, needy people, or the "outcast," yet these folks often need a loving touch more than anybody and Jesus didn't shy away from giving affection to anyone, no matter their circumstances.
The gospel accounts give many examples of Jesus touching all kinds of people..... rich people and poor people, "righteous" and "sinners," handicapped people, sick people, the disabled and the different...
...but there is none more powerful than the story of extreme compassion shown to the "leper" of Matthew 8.
For all of the specific details we don't know about this gentleman, what we do know is that he was a victim of a terrifying infectious disease which caused its victims to be banished from society, not able to live with or touch their own families or even to come within six feet of non-infected people. In addition to the physical isolation, there was devastating social and spiritual stigma as those who suffered from this affliction were considered cursed. In addition, any number of horrific physical disfigurements could develop as the disease progressed.
So one day....
Why did Jesus TOUCH him?
I hope that I'd have been compassionate enough to say a prayer for this man but I'm certain I wouldn't have touched him!
Why did Jesus? He didn't have to; He healed plenty of people with just a word.
So, why did He?
I'm not sure but I'm glad he did it. I'm positive this poor man needed it.
It's easy to take touch for granted when we live in nurturing environments, surrounded by loving friends and family, but some people don't live in loving families. Some people don't live in any family at all. Like a lot of elderly people, widowed or divorced people or sick people in care facilities.
Can you imagine what it would be like to never experience the touch of another person aside from a doctor, therapist or caregiver?
I don't expect either of us will encounter any lepers today but if Jesus could touch this one, shouldn't we be open to seeing who around us might need a caring touch... be it a hug or just a handshake or a pat on the back, and then be willing to provide it?
Cheers to the Encouragers ... those wonderful folks who affirm, acknowledge, admire, appreciate and shower us with affection... where would we be without them?!
Next time: L is for LISTEN