Presence

We left Hagar and Ishmael wandering in the Desert of Beersheba. Abraham had sent them off with water, but it runs out … leaving Hagar face to face with a mother’s worst nightmare.

If the image of Isamael’s father watching him walk away and out of his life was heartbreaking, this one is even worse … his mother sobbing as she waits for him to die.

I have to stop here for a minute because, while I cannot even begin to imagine Hagar’s anguish, I find her walking away from Ishmael a little on the “curious” side. She thought she couldn’t watch him die, but could she allow him to die alone?

If you’ve ever watched a loved one suffer, you know a little bit of this story firsthand.

A lot of people think like Hagar. They say “I can’t stand to watch this”… so they don’t.

There can’t be too many things more painful than being at the side of a loved one who is suffering, but I can think of one thing worse; it is not being there.

My dad had Alzheimer’s for about 8 years before he died. One of the saddest days our family ever faced was the day we realized it was no longer possible to care for him at home. Leaving Dad in a nursing home was just about more than Mom, Karen (my sister), and I could bear.

Those first long days became weeks, which turned into months, then years … about 5 of them, in fact. It never got easy.

Mom was right by Dad’s side, going to visit and check on him almost every single day. Karen also went regularly - several evenings a week after work as well as on the weekends. So faithful. So PRESENT.

Living a couple of hours away, I wasn’t there the way they were. I was a little like Hagar in the sense that I found it harder and harder to make those trips back home; being there was heartbreaking.

Not being there, however, was unimaginable.

It was years and we were all worn out … especially Mom, by the time it was all over. Bless her heart, she’d hung in there as long as he had needed her. He’d have done the same for any of us.

At last came the time to say goodbye. Dad was on hospice care for several days …unresponsive, not eating, drinking or moving. And we sat waiting.

The evening he died, we’d sent Mom home for the night with her sister, who had come from Phoenix. Karen and I (along with our dear friend, Madonna, who had sat with us night and day throughout the entire ordeal) were in Dad’s room. I was having dinner while they sat on either side of Dad, holding his hands. All of a sudden, I saw a look pass between them and heard a breathless, “Did you feel that?”

“Come here, Kim,” said Madonna, urging me to take the hand she’d been holding.

Our sweet daddy, who ... for MONTHS … hadn’t been able to acknowledge any of us with anything beyond an occasional grin, and who … for days had been too weak to even open his eyes, had squeezed their hands. One squeeze for each hand!

I took Dad’s hand, but he didn’t squeeze anymore.

In just a few moments, the color drained from his face and he left our presence to be with Jesus.

Madonna cried because it had been her hand and not mine. I wish it had been mine, too. But Dad had two girls and two hands holding his, so that’s what was important. He knew we were there and gathered all the strength he had left to find a way to tell us goodbye.

Sometimes we have to put the fact that “it’s too hard” aside and do it anyway. Sometimes we have to be strong, not because we think we can bear it but for the sake of someone else who doesn’t have a choice.

Maybe Hagar should have been holding Ishmael’s hand. Let’s hope she just needed a “moment” and would have eventually found the strength to be with her dying son. We have no way of knowing what Hagar would or wouldn’t have done.

But we know what God did. He heard Ishmael.

It’s not the first time God has rescued these two.

All those years ago, when Hagar was pregnant with Ishmael, on the run and alone in the desert, God had seen her distress … and He hadn’t turned away. (See “Not Alone: Hagar”).

This desert journey, when Hagar was left with an empty water container and a son facing death, God had heard Ishmael’s distress … and he hadn’t turned away.

When the suffering is so unbearable no one else can stand to watch, I’m glad GOD doesn’t turn away.

Ishmael’s come a long way from that boy dying in the desert.

In the direst of situations, his story reminds us that no catastrophe is beyond God’s plan and His power.

When the unthinkable happens … God’s PRESENCE is as faithful as His promise.

What a comfort to know that the GOD who redeemed the stories of Hagar and Ishmael so long ago is still at work and redeeming yours and mine today!

Blessings until next time, Kim