Hesitation

My friend, Sara, taught me to pray … “God, show me what You want to accomplish through me.”   But I so often fail at faith.

This hit me like a ton of bricks the other day as I was trying to figure out why I’ve been “out of sorts” lately… restless but lacking the motivation or energy to do anything.

I once heard someone describe “passion” as living life working toward worthy goals and I guess, at the moment, I seem to have lost sight of whatever goal it is I’m supposed to be working toward.

Having identified a sense of emptiness (the inevitable result of following our own plans rather than God’s) as the problem, I started to ask God to show me HIS vision, to fill my heart with HIS dream, and to make me passionate about what HE is passionate about.  But even as I started to pray this, I couldn’t.

I want God to show me… or do I?

I realized I was afraid because I didn’t know what God would show me or how He would answer. I didn’t want to turn over control to God until I knew and could approve His plan!

I didn’t want to ask God to take charge because deep down inside I wouldn’t let go; I couldn’t fall. The most heartbreaking part of all was realizing that I didn’t trust God.

GOD… Who has always, Always, ALWAYS been faithful.

Why is it so hard to fall unreservedly into His arms?

If my reach is tentative, will He still take my hand?

If my steps are hesitant, will He still direct my path?

If my heart is fearful, will He still embrace it?

Every interaction I’ve had with God assures me beyond the shadow of a doubt that the answer is a resounding YES…Yes, He will.

I don’t know who said it, but I love this:

Just imagine the adventures He has for us if we can only let go enough to fall into them!

Until next time, Kim